Confidence and Patience
I have come to discover that I am not the fastest learner, not that learning is a race. I have been running now for almost nine years, and I am still struggling to accept the same lessons. For me, it always comes back to confidence and patience, two characteristics that are quite important to distance running and that I tend to lack. I am sure that there are other issues for me to work on as well, but these are the two most prevalent in my life right now.
When I first started running, way back in high school as a scrawny little sophomore, I knew next to nothing about the sport. Coming from a swimming background, I was familiar with competing in an individual sport, but when it came down to actually running, workouts, easy runs, proper footwear, I was clueless. I had no concept of who was talented, who was “unbeatable,” what the hierarchy on my school’s team was supposed to be. Looking back, that was such a huge advantage. I could simply step on the line and race. No thought to who was running faster than me somewhere else or who might be quicker in this race, just racing. Enter confidence. Now that I have more of an awareness of the running world, of the myriad of talented individuals out there, confidence is huge. I have to believe in myself, in my ability and drive, in order to make it to the next level. I have faith in Pete; I believe that he is a good judge of talent, and he has faith in me, so why should I not allow myself to believe? I have struggled with this whole confidence issue for awhile, but I am changing my thinking. I know that I am good enough, good enough to be here at ZAP, good enough to compete. I would encourage you to do the same, whether you are a runner or not. Embrace who you are, but be emboldened to have courage in yourself and your abilities. Step around whatever wall you think is holding you back and trust in you. Seems like a pretty obvious and cliché concept, but I already told you I’m not a quick learner, so I’m still working on it.
Patience is the other virtue that does not come easily to me. I want what I want, and I want it now. I crave that next pr, that next big jump in training, and am never satisfied. I suppose that the drive to see some results is what keeps me going, but I am learning to temper that to some extent. I just ran a pr, and while it was certainly not pretty, my last 1200 being rather disastrous, it was still a step in the right direction. My initial reaction was to be angry and upset…I fell apart, didn’t finish strong, totally blew it. But the more I think about it, the more I become aware that this too is an area where I could use a change. I have to be patient. I improved my 5k pr, and it is okay to be happy about that. It does not mean that I am settling or giving up. It means that I realize this is a process. I am not becoming complacent in where I am, rather I am seeing the steps along the way, the small victories, pushing on and being patient that the hard work I do now will come to fruition. Savoring the little triumphs is what motivates, but I am usually so busy looking forward that I never even see them.
So there you have it. Pretty simple, slightly trite, most definitely not difficult, and yet I am learning and re-learning these things, among many others. It is all right to be a little behind the learning curve, so long as I actually learn the lessons.
12 comments to "Confidence and Patience"
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